Topic started by TFMPG (@ nscs26p10.remote.umass.edu) on Sun Jan 9 11:41:50 EST 2000.
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There are numerous pages devoted to Yesudas. Many articles and interviews are available on-line. Lets collaborate in bringing all links to one place. We will compile these discussions and make them part of the K. J. Yesudas information page in TFMP. |
There are not many in the state who do not know his inspiring and courageous life story. People see a kind of romanticism in the stories of his struggle to pay school and college fees, his fight against hunger, the insults that he had to face and the pains that he had to undergo due to poverty. His life story has become legendary in Kerala.
His rise to fame was instant from the very first song he sang in 1961 for the Malayalam film,
He is the only playback singer in India who has won seven National awards (in 1973, 1974, 1977, 1983, 1988, 1992 and 1994). Five of these awards are for his songs in Malayalam and one each for Telugu and Hindi.
He could not continue his studies at the Swati Thirunal Music College in Thiruvananthapuram due to poverty, but in the late '60s, he became a disciple of the legendary Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar and started giving Carnatic kacheris along with his guru.
Even the hardcore puritans were forced to accept him after he became the most favourite sishya of Chembai. And, today he is the only musician who has earned a name in both light music and classical music.
It is difficult to believe that the man behind the romantic voice turned 60 this Januray 10.
You have just come back from Mookambika temple after celebrating your 60th birthday. I have read that you have been celebrating your birthday at the temple for the last three decades. Why do you go there? To worship Goddess Saraswathi?
When I first went there, it was a very, very quiet and tranquil place. It was not at all crowded and that was what I liked about the place as I generally avoid crowded places. I used to go regularly to Sabarimala for makara sankranti and on my way to Sabarimala, I also went to Mookambika. It so happened that my birthday fell at that time (on January 10). And, it was not to celebrate my birthday that I went there, as I never used to celebrate birthdays. What is so special about birthdays? All these years, there were no birthday celebrations for me. So, why should I do that all of a sudden?
But the whole of Kerala is celebrating your 60th birthday. All the newspapers and magazines have come out with specials and even the state government is felicitating you (on January 18)
I can't do anything about it. They wanted to do it out of their love for me. It makes me happy too because they feel happy to wish me. I really am thankful to all those loving people. But I don't like loud and ostentatious birthday celebrations. So, I used to spend a very quiet and private day with only a handful of people at Mookambika.
I have read in the papers that thousands of people assembled there to wish you this year.
Yes, it is true. But it used to be a quiet affair till last year. I go there to mediate in front of Goddess Saraswathi. As you know, Saraswathi is the Goddess of knowledge and music. You have Lakshmi and Devi also there at the temple. After attending all the three poojas, I would sing at the Saraswathi mandapam for sometime at night. It never used to be a concert but just an offering to the Goddess. It had a recharging effect on me.
There are three or four such places where I can recharge my batteries. There is a small chapel near my birthplace in Cochin. My father first took me there when I was 12 and I sang there. Ever since, I have been singing at the chapel every year, without any break. Another two occasions that I would not like to miss are the Chembai festival and the Thiayagaraja
festival. It is at these four places that I get to recharge my batteries.
What do you experience when you sing at these temple festivals?
I don't go to temples to fulfil any desire of mine. Yes, earlier, I too went to temples to pray so that inconsequential and silly desires of mine are fulfilled. But I outgrew all that. Soon I realised that we do not have to demand anything from God. He knows what to do, what to give and what not to give. So, I only plead to Him to guide me properly.
What desires did you have when you were young?
I didn't have many desires even then too. I have got more than I deserve. So, how can I desire for more? I came from Cochin to Madras with just Rs 16 in my hand. So, whatever I have got now, whatever God has bestowed upon me is only bonus!
You are 60 now. Do you ever become reflective and look back?
You cannot avoid looking back. In fact, you can only look back. I have always felt that we cannot plan anything about our future, as our future is not in our hands. So, you should not yearn for anything. You cannot predict what will happen to you the very next moment. If you are so uncertain about the next moment itself, how can you make long term plans for your life? Many argue and ask me, if God has decided our future, what is the point in us working for anything or planing anything in life?
But the reality is you plan many things for yourself and feel happy about them. But ultimately what is destined to happen will happen. I sense and feel and see a power behind all of us and all the happenings. I rever this supreme power, this sakthi as God.
Is God a driving force for you?
Yes, that driving force makes you think, ponder and react to situations. Like Bhagavat Gita says, I (God) am the right and the wrong. So, nothing is in our hands. God, the ultimate driving force drives you to do something and also forces you not to do certain things.
Does that mean we have no power in the course of our own life? Doesn't that make a man helpless?
No. It is very difficult to surrender your life to the iltimate power. It is very difficult to reach that level because all of us are struggling to achieve many things in life. I too am struggling to find answers to several of my questions. If you can surrender your life to Him completely, you will be at peace with yourself. Nothing, I mean nothing, will affect you then. But we cannot do that.
Let me ask you. What can you do if a flood comes and washes away every little possession of yours? Is it in your power to stop a lightning, a flood or an earthquake? A flood may come and wash all of us away, irrespective of the religion and caste you belong to. You will be lost in the floods even if you are a human being or an elephant or a cow or even a worm. When you are caught in such a situation, you are utterly helpless. So, I see a supreme power controlling and negotiating the course of every life and every action.
You feel humble when you think of the supreme power and his power in srishti, sthithi and samharam. We feel stupid when we question srishti, sthithi and samharam as we have no control or power over these three events. So, we shouldn't ask for anything from God for He knows what you want and what is best for you.
When you move ahead believing in Him and His power, small worries and pains will not affect you and you will rise above such insignificant and trivial feelings. Do we have any control over our birth and death? No. We are born without us asking for and one day we will die also. Some people reach such a higher plane that nothing in this mundane world
affects them. But it is very difficult to reach that plane.
Now, when I look back, I feel I was made to undergo all the miseries and agonies so that I grew as a person. They were for my own good and my own happiness and contentment.
But when you suffered, could you rationalise? Didn't you feel the pain then?
Of course, I felt the pain then. After all, I am human. Even now I experience pain and unhappiness. I have not yet reached a level so that I can rationalise the pains and sufferings, though I am trying very hard. But when I look back and think of what I had undergone once, I don't feel anything. I am so happy now. God has blessed me tremendously. The very thought that so many people love me, care for me and pray for me makes me so humble and happy. I do not know how to express my feelings. It is not to my credit that I receive so much of love now; it is all because of that supreme power that I am blessed with so much love.
Are you at peace with yourself now?
Yes. It is the unwanted desires that destroy your peace of mind. If you can curb your desires, you will be at peace with yourself. But it is not easy.
Was it a conscious effort on your part to curb desires?
Meditation helps you control your desires. Meditation helps you believe in God and His powers. We only think of our own anguish, our own miseries and our own sorrow. But we are the only people who suffer and feel the pain. If you read the works of great thinkers and philosophers, you will understand that what a small fry you are in this world, and
how trivial and insignificant your pains are. Then, you feel that you are really blessed.
In your earlier days, you had to bear a lot of pain and insults...
It is true. In those days, it was just impossible for a person from a Christian family to make a living out of classical music. Still, my father let me learn music because he was as fond of music as I was. A Christian had no chance at all to sing in the temples then. Even now, it is difficult in Kerala but not so in Tamil Nadu. There are places like the Guruvayoor temple, the Thripunithara temple and the Padmanabha swamy temple where I cannot go in and sing. I have not gone to
these places and I have no desire to go. Why should I go to a place where I am not wanted?
My father was a singer and a drama artiste and people called him Bhagavathar. In those days, many people used to ask my father, 'Bhagavathare, why do you want to teach your son music? What will he do after learning music? Where will he sing?' My father never responded to those questions, he just smiled. He knew my passion and devotion lay only in music.
When I was in school itself, he fell ill and could not give my fees, which was five rupees then. I was so desperate that I went to the bishop and apprised him of the situation, but he sent me away. I am not criticising him now. I am grateful to him for making me strong.
The incident must have given you strength and determination to face life more courageously, isn't it?..
Yes. I became courageous and strong. But I never felt like taking revenge on anyone. I didn't want to hurt anyone.
You wanted to prove yourself...
Yes, I wanted to prove myself but not at the expense of others. Who made me go and meet the bishop? Who made the bishop refuse the money? How did I become more determined? It is all because of the supreme power. Yes, there is a scriptwriter above who writes the scripts for all our lives.
Didn't you feel angry towards the person then?
Of course, I did. I am a human being and I was young. When I begged for five rupees, he said, what do you want to do after learning music? He didn't give me the money. Somehow I struggled and managed to collect the amount and paid the fees. Later too, I had to face a lot of adversities in life. My life was full of grief and pain; sadness was the only emotion I felt then.
There was a teacher in my music school who enjoyed tormenting me all the time. He did that only because I was a Christian. 'What's this mappilah (mappilah in central Kerala is a Christian) doing in a music school?' he used to ask and I felt so sad and unwanted in those days.
What was the outlet for your sadness in those days?
I cried. What else could a little fellow do? I cried such a lot in those days that I don't have any tears left in my eyes now (laughs)! I do not know how much I struggled and suffered then. Now when I look back, I feel that particular teacher was also a reason for my being so strong and determined in my pursuit of music.
Otherwise, I would not have worked with so much perseverance. Have you seen how goldsmiths work on gold? They heat it till it is red and then strike very hard on it. With each thrashing, it shines more and more...Each whipping made me more determined. I did not feel angry or vengeful against them. I was only sad and upset. Now I feel if I were not as angry and
furious, I would not have worked so hard.
Do you know when I cried the most? The school authorities chose me as the best student at the end of the year and the best student would sing in front of the students and teachers. When I was asked to sing, the first thing I did was to seek the blessings of all the teachers. When I reached this particular teacher, he just grumbled satirically and refused to bless me. I just could not bear his indifference and rejection of me, so I stood there and burst into tears. The shock was too much for a small boy to put up with.
But there was this lady teacher, Padma -- she taught me Sanskrit, paid my fees sometimes and even gave me food when I was starving -- who saw this teacher's behaviour. She was so furious that she went and complained to the principal who also liked me immensely. The principal came and stood near me and shouted, 'rascal!' When I heard him call me rascal, I once again burst into tears. He had never called me that. But the very next moment, he said, 'I am with you. Don't worry. Go ahead and sing. You need courage.' His words sent a lightning through my body and I went to the stage and sang.
Looking back, I feel it is because of his encouraging words and the blessings of all my gurus that I have reached somewhere in life. But the teacher who abused me is the reason for my determination.
Did you meet that teacher again?
Of course. But he was very good to me later!
Was it only because you were born in a Christian family that you had to face all those impediments while pursuing classical music?
I do not know how to describe the happenings in my life. They baffle me sometimes. To me, religion is only a path to move on and travel in life, and not the ultimate point. Not only religion, even languages acted as hurdles in my life. When I started singing in Tamil, people criticised my pronunciation. When I sang in Hindi, I was criticised again. To get recognition had been very difficult for me. Rivers flow smoothly from the north, from the Himalayas down. But for a river to flow from Kerala towards the Himalayas is very, very difficult!
You started playback singing in 1961 but by the end of the 1960s, you started learning classical music again from Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar. Was it because you could not complete your studies that you wanted to pursue it again?
Actually, I started my first classical lessons at the age of five and I never stopped. I could not take continuous lessons when I started singing in films. But I never lost the link with classical music because in those days, film music was very, very close to classical music.
The compositions of Devarajan master, Dakshinamoorthy Swamy and Raghavan master were very, very close to classical music. Their songs were more like keerthanas. So, I was lucky to have sung film songs in those days. My classical music would have perished if I was not born in Kerala and if I had not sung in the '60s.
You were learning Carnatic music first in a music school and then in a music college and you wanted to pursue it, but ended up singing in films. Did you ever regret this transition?
No, I can never criticise film music. Recently when I was talking to the Tamil Isai Sangam, I told them that I have two mothers, the mother who bore me -- Carnatic music -- and the mother who brought me up -- film music. If I didn't have my foster mother, I would have died of starvation. So, I can never forget my foster mother and it was she who taught me how to modulate my voice, how to pronounce words properly.
Playback singing also made you popular.
Yes. People became very inquisitive about my classical singing. That could be why people come to listen to me. I feel very sad because there are many, many great musicians who are much more knowledgeable than I am, but they do not get a chance to sing in kacheris. Their knowledge and ability is so high that many people find it difficult to understand them. So, they have no kacheris or audience.
I feel very sad for them but what can I do? I feel helpless. Yes, in the earlier days, many people came to my kacheris because my name was familiar to them. But after the first experience, they might have liked my kacheris too. Otherwise, they wouldn't have come again. I did not choose pure classical songs for my kacheris but preferred those compositions which can give happiness and satisfaction to the listeners. Many may say that I am not a traditional singer.
Puritans of Carnatic music criticise you a lot.
Let them. I am not worried or perturbed. People come to listen to my kacheris in large numbers. I do not know what gives them happiness but they do come to my kacheris and remain there till it is over. They do not walk away in between. That is why I say I am blessed.
A legend like Chembai helped me by announcing to the crowd that I was his sishya. Many people were against Chembai swamy's decision but there were many who accepted it wholeheartedly too. So, I feel it is His wish that I get a good name in Carnatic music as well.
In the case of Semmangudi swamy also, I could stay with him for a year. Even though I stayed in the car shed, I was near him. That also was a blessing.
There is a section of people who ask me not to sing film music but another group tells me not to stop playback singing. Whom should I listen to? I select and try to sing only good songs, but sometimes I am forced to sing several other compositions too. Otherwise, I should leave everything and go to a small place like Thiagaraja Swamigal did.
Did you ever think of going away?
I reflect a lot. But I can't run away like Swamigal because I have three children. Is it not my responsibility to see that they are well settled in life?
Carnatic music is often described as a huge ocean. How do you feel searching for something in the ocean?
Yes, Carnatic music is like an ocean. But there are a lot of unwanted things in the ocean, you have to pick only the pearls and the corals from the rubbish. Pearls and corals are not available everywhere, you have to search for them. In Carnatic music, there are 72 scales and 32,000 janya ragas and only a few know all the 32,000 janya ragas. I do not know whether anybody knows the names of all these ragas. So, I feel, as musicians, we should give only what gives enjoyment and happiness to the listeners. People do not enjoy all these 72 scales. They enjoy ragas like a kalyani, a shankarabharanam, a thodi or anada bhairavi...
But when you try to please the ordinary public, the puritans may disagree with you and your choice of simple and popular ragas.
Yes, they do not agree with me. For example, the ragas we choose for a kacheri here in a sabha and a kacheri in a temple are different. Only knowledgeable people come to listen to a kacheri in a sabha but all kinds of people come to the temple festivals. We change the choice of ragas according to the place where we are performing. You should learn to understand the minds of the people. That is where the success of a singer lies.
I heard this story recently. On seeing the hall almost empty, a sishya of the great M D Ramanathan sir told him, 'sir, there are not many people in the hall.' The unperturbed Ramanathan sir remarked, 'so what? I am singing for myself.' Ha! What a great artiste he is! I do not know when I will be able to reach that level. I cannot even think of such an eventuality. But I am preparing myself for it, to sing for myself, my own satisfaction and enjoyment. People tell me that when I sing, I am fully engrossed in the song. Yes, when I sing, I do not think of the people in front of me, I just close my eyes and sing.
But their appreciation and presence are important to you, aren't they?
Yes, they are. At least now. If not, why should I sing in concerts?
The other day, in one of your kacheris here in Madras, you requested the crowd to pray for the hostages (of the hijacked Indian Airlines plane). Of late, you have started involving yourself in social issues...
I didn't do it consciously. I wanted to pray for those innocent people. When I requested, all those who assembled at the Ayyappa temple sat silently and prayed for them. Not only we, so many people prayed for the safety of the hostages and finally nothing untoward happened. The hijackers are our brothers, and the hostages are also our brothers, and due to some misunderstanding, such things happen.
It must be very disturbing for you when people fight a lot in the name of God. When you first started visiting temples, you had to face a lot of opposition. Don't you feel intolerance has increased now?
Yes. I go to temples as well as churches. I am proud that God created me like this. I feel all these skirmishes in the name of religion are due to ignorance. The so-called believers feel that only they are right and there is only one God and that is their God. Do you think God has any religion?
Fanaticism is there in all the religions. Let us not talk about that. I still remember one incident that happened when I was seven or so. In our churches, we were told that only Christians went to heaven. That was the first shock I received in my life. I was horrified and felt sad for my Hindu and Muslim friends. I asked my father why it was so. My father said, 'that's a good question. Keep asking the question again and again to yourself. You will get an answer one day.'
So many things happened in my life. When I was a music student in Thripunithara, great musicians used to come and give concerts in the temple premises. I longed to go inside and listen to them, but I was not allowed to enter the temple premises. Even today, I have not gone inside the temple. Later on, there was a lot of opposition in Kerala when I
sang certain songs, I was denied entry at Guruvayoor -- all these incidents disturbed me.
One day I heard about the Ayyappa cult in Sabarimala and I was fascinated by the philosophy of Advaitham and dwaitham in the cult. So, I wrote to the temple authorities asking them whether I could go there. Immediately I got a response from them. The most beautiful aspect of Sabarimala is that irrespective of the religion or caste you belong to,
you can go there.
We say, after death, our athma will be one with the paramathma but in Sabarimala, you become one with the God, as another Ayyappa. There is no other God who gives his own name to all his bhaktas.
You have achieved so much in life. Are you attached to any of these achievements? I mean, the name, fame, the material possessions?
I don't know whether I am attached to the things that you have mentioned or not, but they make my life blissful. I cannot deny that. I have not yet reached a level where I feel detached from these pleasures. How can I say I am detached when I live amongst all these comforts? Yes, more than anything, my music is my life. And I am willing to sacrifice everything for music. Music is like a tapasya to me.